Culture Shock

BLOG first  written 2007  

Culture shock – besides remembering to drive on the other side of the road and get used to the flash and the windscreen wiper being on the opposite side of the steering wheel and the hand-brake of course, that’s on the right, not the left, there are other little shocks to the system which keep you on your toes in this foreign country. 

Most important is the subject of toilet paper.  DON’T even think about putting your ‘used’ paper down the toilet.  It does block the drains.  Ask me, I’ve got ‘hands on’ experience!  Put all your paper in the bin provided – or on the floor if it is overflowing.

Toilets generally are getting more civilised, cleaner and sometimes even pleasant.

- wine.  The first glass is the worst, baby.  You just gotta know that it gets better.  The more you drink, the more it resembles champagne – the home made stuff you buy from a barrel in a ‘cave’ next to the goat’s cheese. It slips down easier after the second and third glass and by the end of the evening you could almost be enjoying its ruby roughness – or you could always drink Amstel or Heineken.....or Mythos.

2020

Wine has improved immensely. Some of the local white almost tastes like a fruity sauv blanc. Retsina, the white wine flavoured with pine resin is hard to find. Once it was all you could get.

- television.  It’s all greek, except for ‘Days of our Lives’, ‘The Young and the Restless’ , oh and ‘Friends’ and the ‘Gilmore Girls’ – english with subtitles!  You don’t get any NZ news here unless its some maniac wiping out his whanau or a giant sea lion attacking parked cars in Napier.  The human interest stuff.  But that’s ok because you don’t get any greek news in NZ unless the whole of the Peloponese is turned to ash by wild fires.  Television news is politics, weather and the celebration of some minor triumph by the national football team or the discovery of a vaccine by some ‘greek’ who was born in Australia to parents whose distant relatives came from Kalamata or Paleokastritsa.  Endlessly they go over the same subject, a panel of highly biased politicians and journalists  examining every twist and turn, discussing, arguing, accusing, yelling, until you’re actually forced to turn the darn thing off.

2020

Nowadays it's endless covid statistics and Erdogan's  (Turkey)  rhetoric rages

- back to cars again.  Don’t bother with seat belts, helmets or stopping at red lights unless you live in Athens. If you double or triple park, at least leave the keys in your car so the poor devils you’ve ‘closed in’ can get out. Give way to all taxis, buses and datsun pick-ups.  Forget the right hand rule – there isn’t one. Beware of donkeys and little old women dressed in black.

2020

At least have your helmet hanging over the handlebars. We do have sporadic road blocks. Triple parking and coming to a screaming halt in the middle of the road to speak to a friend is still the norm

- if you’re polite and wait in a queue you’ll still be there when the shop closes. When greeks see a queue they automatically go straight to the front.  When your bus arrives, the older you are the harder you push.  Don’t be timid, this is survival of the fittest. 

2020

Nothing changed there 

When you travel on long haul flights across the world and the pilot tells you to stay in your seat with safety belt done up until the plane comes to a complete halt he is usually obeyed – unless your plane is full of greeks coming into Athens airport.  As soon as those wheels touch the ground they are all up, out of their seats, overhead lockers open and by the time the plane does come to a complete stop there are three hundred economy passengers, their hand luggage in huge bags and boxes bursting at the seams,  pawing the ground, pressing in the aisles ready to rip those business class curtains aside and GO.

- basil.  This grows in the summer in small pots on your balcony or in your yard,  You give it a shake as you walk past and its pungent summery smell envelopes you and the flies and mosquitoes.  You do not use it in cooking and never put it on the tomatoes in your greek salad.  The taste of greece is olive oil, lemons and oregano.

2020

Basil is now in recipes used by  gourmet cooks. I put small amounts in any summer dish which features tomatoes, not enough to alert traditional people to its presence though.

Actually basil is being used now by bold chefs in chic Athenian restaurants.....and presumably being actually consumed in nouvelle recipes by athenians who think this is the way to that elusive europeanisation.  The hoi polloi is very happy just being greek, efharisto.

Why DOESN’T all the world speak greek?  This is where democracy (except for women and slaves), civilisation, nay LIFE started!  Foreigners flock to greece – for its wonderful climate (45 in summer, 5 in winter), friendliness (you give me your money and I’ll give you a smile)..........sun (when WILL it rain?), sea (looks blue but this IS the med, just one big enclosed toilet) and sex (AIDS, herpes) and yes, I do love this country.  Sometimes I just get a bit cynical. 

- If you want something done then ask a cousin or grease a palm, or ask a cousin to grease a palm.  Otherwise, be patient, it won’t be ‘maniana’ (avrio) it will be next year, or maybe never.  By the way, the louder you shout, the more likely you are to get service.

2020

As above

And so on